Surrogate Families
Last year I moved 2,500 miles away from everyone and everything I’d ever known. It’s been a wild ride of making new friends, trying to find my place in grad school, gaining and losing a girlfriend, and anxiety about what comes next. Both this year and last, the ramp up to Thanksgiving has been the hardest time to be away from home. I can fly home a couple of weeks in December, but I can’t justify a second plane ticket just for the Thanksgiving weekend.
Last year Twinkle saved me from a lonely shut-in weekend and invited me to her family’s dinner, and kept inviting me back daily, the entire time her family was in town. Simply spending evenings watching old movies with her dad and step-mom made me feel more welcome and loved than I can adequately describe; I’d made friends, but didn’t realize how hard it would hit me when they all left for the holiday and I stayed behind. Having a place to go and people to visit during that time was the best balm for homesickness I could have asked for.
Even without Twink around this year, her brother repeated the invitation, and I’m really looking forward to it. Her family is wonderful, and it’ll be great to spend the holiday with them. He even asked me to drop by early with my guitar so that could jam a little bit–slightly intimidating, since I’ve heard him play and he’s amazing, but it should be good fun. I have to admit, however, that this feels a little bittersweet; depending on where things go with our relationship (which even I can’t truthfully describe right now), I have the sense that this may be the last time I really feel like a part of her family. I hope that’s not the case; I don’t want to have found such a loving family only to lose them so swiftly.
Anyway, in contrast to last year, Will and Katie hosted a friend-Thanksgiving this year. They held it tonight, before people began to leave town, so we were all able to get together for a pot-luck (in the best sense of pot-luck, no mysterious goo here) dinner, drinks, games, and gossip. A wonderful idea, and they pulled it off perfectly. It feels great to know that in just a year, I’ve met such an amazing group of people. I suspect for most of them, it’s mostly another chance to socialize and enjoy a Saturday night, but for the transplants in our group, it really helps to make the west coast feel a bit more like home.
